I recently got an unsolicited message on Instagram from a guy who claimed to have matched with me on Hinge in 2019. The DM is longer than a full-screen iPhone 11. A lot of effort has obviously been put into the crafting of this charming message.
He lists out his top-line stats.
39 years old.
Work as [insert impressive job title].
Never married, no kids.
Furthermore, upon investigation of your digital content, I’d like to take this opportunity to put in an application for a second chance at a date.
The message ends with: I hope…
We appreciate you choosing me to go on a date with. To help us improve, we’d like to ask you a few questions about your experiences with me. It’ll only take a minute and will help us make me a more desirable human.
Your name: John
How did we meet? On Hinge. You commented on a photo of me at the beach with “lol whaaaaaaat”.
How would you rate the overall quality of the conversation?
Single & not ready to mingle. Happily lonely. Emotionally unavailable. Manifesting the life no one wants. I use humour to avoid all feelings.