The Moment I Realised It Was Time to Delete My Dating Apps

Dating isn’t a numbers game. It’s a game of patience.

Photo by Ays Be on Unsplash

I remember the exact moment I realised I would never, ever, ever, ever meet someone on dating apps. International borders had just opened, and I was heading on my first overseas trip. I’d spent a total of eight months in lockdown and I’d been single throughout the whole thing. Well, actually, I’d been single for a whole lot longer.

It had been nine long years since my last relationship. And nine long years on (and off) dating apps.

I decided I needed a break from the city dating scene. People were just too damn flaky in the city. And really rude. It was as if no one cared about my feelings.

I headed to a tropical island in Thailand for a few months. Dating apps had completely eviscerated my confidence and I wanted to get my sparkle back.

And maybe people were less rude on holidays?

I was still using my dating apps when I landed, and I soon started chatting with this guy on Hinge. A few days later I was at the gym and I turned around, and guess who it was? The guy from Hinge. Except he was acting like I didn’t exist. And so I just pretended he didn’t exist.

It. Was. Weird.

Except that it’s not weird on dating apps. You hear about people ghosting *literally* mid-date and immediately unmatching the person as they run from the restaurant. It’s the hit-and-run of dating. They don’t give any explanation (and there’s no way to contact them), so inevitably the other person will feel terrible, wondering what the hell they did wrong.

So, there I was, awkwardly working out at the gym next to a person I’d spent the last few days chatting to, both of us pretending like we didn’t know each other. But why?! I suspect it has something to do with the sheer volume of interactions we have on dating apps. No one is memorable. No one is special. No one is worth getting to know.

Who do you think you are? Some kind of human snowflake? Oh no. You are just one game on the slot machine.

It wasn’t the worst experience I’d ever had on dating apps. Far from it. But I had a realisation. THIS ISN’T NORMAL. It was…